Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Mixed Feelings

With the sun streaming through the blinds of my bedroom window, I burrowed under my mother's quilt for a last few minutes before slowly getting out of bed. This is the last week of lazy mornings before I return to the workforce, and I am wistful about the pace and richness of this last year.

Going back to work - to work for Verizon - is something I never imagined that I would be doing again. When I skipped happily out of the doors for the last time, humming "Another one bites the dust" to myself, it never occurred to me that I would be walking back. Yes, the circumstances are different, and yes, it's more money, and a temporary contract through a separate agency, but still...

Because I don't know exactly what I will be doing, with only a description of my possible duties, it's very like standing at the edge of a pool, wondering about the temperature of the water. I also wonder about my own skill level, my energy level and my ability to tolerate the corporate culture again. This last year I have relaxed, healed, played, spent wonderful time with Jim, my family and friends. Will I be able to come back up to speed with programs, and multitasking (a much over-rated phenomenon that indicates too much on one's plate)? Will I have time to accomplish the things that are important to me? Am I worrying unnecessarily?

This is supposed to be a temporary posting. That's one of the things that makes this palatable, for now. I can handle most anything for a few months. It will be a good thing to have money that doesn't come out of our funds, especially more than unemployment pays. Unemployment is ending soon.

So, here I am, on a Tuesday, sitting at my computer, listening to the blue jays screeching at the squirrels in the back yard, and having the time to comtemplate what my life will be like in the next few months. The house is quiet, and I am relaxed, breakfasted and coffee'd, and I love how this feels. We will see how it plays out in the next month.

No comments:

Post a Comment